![]() Now, Gotham Knights had a hard act to follow in the form of the Arkham series, which for all the stumbles of their final instalment were all beautifully crafted games.įull of artful design, personality, bespoke encounters, and while the demolition derby car racing stuff in Arkham Knight felt out of place it was still more fun than driving across town in Gotham Knights. Robin’s default outfit in particular looks like he broke the zip on his dad’s anorak. Can Batman’s teenage fan club stroke harem take up the fight he left behind before they get distracted by the appearance of their first pubes? Maybe, if they figure out how to stop dressing like twats, first. So our four potential protagonists are the four most promising alumni of Bruce Wayne’s personal Neverland ranch: Robin, Ex-Robin, Dead Robin, and Girl Robin. But I should’ve realised that there is one thing more boring than a potato in a sock, and that’s a bunch of college dropouts who aspire to be a potato in a sock. A positive first step, I thought, I’ve long repeated that Batman is always the least interesting part of anything he’s in, a dude with infinite money who’s never wrong with all the warmth and complexity of a potato in a sock. Gotham Knights is an action adventure superhero sandbox game made by cunts with official DC comics branding, which opens with Batman being killed. Who don’t even feed their dog until they’ve run long enough on a treadmill generator to offset the cost of a bag of Eukanuba. Evil money-grubbing cunts who make overpriced emotion-deadening culturally bankrupt Skinner boxes deliberately designed to foster addictive behaviour. Can’t let the publishers control the narrative on this sort of thing, they’d call a kick in the bollocks a “key entertainment sector reinvigoration scheme.” So what else should we call games where you repeatedly grind up infinite amounts of copy pasted random combats in order to acquire nineteen different currencies with which to construct new equipment colour coded for alleged rarity, that are basically identical to every other but have higher numbers to compensate for ever-increasing enemy damage sponginess? Hm, let me think. Being alive is good, and so is being serviced. Spectacle Fighter recently got the official Steam endorsement so Spunkgargleweewee can’t be far behind, and we really need a better name for shit like Gotham Knights than “Live Service.” It sounds too much like a good thing. I think we’re overdue for some of my trademark coining of terminology. ![]() We have a merch store as well! Visit the store for brand new ZP merch. Want to watch Zero Punctuation ad-free? Sign-up for The Escapist + today and support your favorite content creators! This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Gotham Knights.įor more major games Yahtz has reviewed lately, check out A Plague Tale: Requiem, Scorn, Prodeus, Return to Monkey Island, Splatoon 3 and Serial Cleaners, The Mortuary Assistant, Saints Row, and Elden Ring. ![]()
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